Don’t you dare laugh, or you’re a racist; black man rams car into convenience store, takes banana, eats it, leaves

Don’t you dare laugh — I don’t want any racist pattern recognition going on here! Just because he has an apparently low IQ and likes bananas is not indicative of overall group differences, damn you! Racists! Stop looking at the black man committing a felony to get a banana! Srsly, what are you, some kind of racist or something?

Authorities in Newington, Conn. say a man repeatedly crashed his car into a gas station early Wednesday morning as a means to break into the convenience store — only to walk in, steal a banana and then flee the scene.

“Review of surveillance video depicted a suspect, operating a light colored Ford Freestyle station wagon with Connecticut registration plates, back into the store entrance door several times creating an opening in the glass,” Newington police said in a Facebook post.

“The suspect selected a banana from a shelf, peeled and ate the fruit, and then exited the store.”
“The suspect, identified as a black male wearing a dark jacket, dark pants, and a brown hat, then entered the store,” the post added. “The suspect selected a banana from a shelf, peeled and ate the fruit, and then exited the store. No other items were taken during the burglary.”

Police say the suspect then fled the scene in the same car he used to crash into the gas station, making no attempt to conceal his identity.

Individuals with information on the crime are urged to call authorities.


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19 Responses to Don’t you dare laugh, or you’re a racist; black man rams car into convenience store, takes banana, eats it, leaves

  1. Rita Rabbit says:

    Gee, do you think the police will be able to catch him? Bet they won’t.

  2. zek says:

    That’s awesome. Look at all that junk food he could have taken. Good for him for making healthy choices!

    • mindweapon says:

      Great point! He’s a healthy eater! All he needs is a more natural setting, preferably where bananas can be gotten by walking up to a tree instead of smashing into a store.

    • ben tillman says:

      Double LOL

    • Jon says:

      That’s a good point but he really should have considered that he, though certainly not racist himself, as that’s impossible, was by choosing a banana playing to the worst of racial stereotypes and should have taken another fruit (but not a watermelon), instead.

  3. Stubbs says:

    Ironically I’m guessing the Black guy thought this would be funny as hell himself.

  4. Cj aka Elderofzyklons Blog says:

    Reblogged this on ElderofZyklon's Blog!.

  5. Pingback: Don’t you Dare Laugh, or You’re a Racist: Black Man Rams Car into Convenience Store, Takes Banana, Eats it, Leaves |

  6. ChaunceyVegan says:

    HAAAAAAAA! Oh my God I can’t even breathe right now! I was just about to sleep too! Can it really get funnier than this????? Wow, just wow. I’m so glad I read this! LOL!

  7. PB says:

    Impressed that he could operate a motor vehicle. They can train them for anything these days.

  8. Scarlett says:

    They kill each other over who made the best kool AID, sneakers, fried chicken, they rob KFC joints and now this. All we need now is a black guy who robs a grocery store for a watermelon.

    • StukaPilot says:

      some years ago, while living in Jew York (Ft Green, Brooklyn) I went out for an early Saturday morning bike ride and strayed into an all-Black area. About 6 AM, the streets silent and deserted…then from off in the distance, a stakebed truck slowly approaches…loaded with hundreds of watermelons. Just as it comes up to me I hear the drumming of hundreds of running feet as “African-Americans” of all ages and both sexes suddenly erupt from I-know-not-where and I fear for my life…but they ignore me and storm the truck, all running off with a big green watermelon tucked under each arm. W/in seconds the street is again peaceful and deserted…and I ride off, awed by this primitive gastro-racial display.

  9. TabuLa Raza says:


  10. Sam says:

    All that destruction for a banana. Negros are so stupid and uncaring sometimes they surprise even me.

  11. StukaPilot says:

    @ MW: word for word, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die, Real.

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