Don’t you dare laugh — I don’t want any racist pattern recognition going on here! Just because he has an apparently low IQ and likes bananas is not indicative of overall group differences, damn you! Racists! Stop looking at the black man committing a felony to get a banana! Srsly, what are you, some kind of racist or something?
Authorities in Newington, Conn. say a man repeatedly crashed his car into a gas station early Wednesday morning as a means to break into the convenience store — only to walk in, steal a banana and then flee the scene.
“Review of surveillance video depicted a suspect, operating a light colored Ford Freestyle station wagon with Connecticut registration plates, back into the store entrance door several times creating an opening in the glass,” Newington police said in a Facebook post.
“The suspect selected a banana from a shelf, peeled and ate the fruit, and then exited the store.”
“The suspect, identified as a black male wearing a dark jacket, dark pants, and a brown hat, then entered the store,” the post added. “The suspect selected a banana from a shelf, peeled and ate the fruit, and then exited the store. No other items were taken during the burglary.”
Police say the suspect then fled the scene in the same car he used to crash into the gas station, making no attempt to conceal his identity.
Individuals with information on the crime are urged to call authorities.